My Soul is Well with God

I started humming a song in my head today at work.  I do that a lot & quote scripture when people I'm working with have an ill spirit & are zapping my flow of positive energy I have worked up to make it through the day.  Today the song, "It is Well with my Soul"   The song is a beautiful song, offering complete surrender to God's will in our lives.  It would seem to be exactly what any Christian would want to offer God.  

For me I kept hearing the words playing over & over... as though it was taunting me...ripping through to my inner being.
All I could think of was, Justin & I immediately could feel the mother deep inside of me... Screaming... No, it is not well with my soul... it is not well with any part of me. 

I began to think about the man who wrote the song, Horatio Staffird, a father who lost 4 daughters on the same day... How,  I wandered was he able "to be well" with it such lose.  It was said, he wrote the words on his journey to meet his wife after the tragic accident, was he is shock?  Was it because he had something I don't have with my relationship with God?  Was his faith greater? Was he not as connected with his children?  Was it because there were no questions surrounding their death?   

I've learned in my grieving process never to judge another grieving parents means of grieving.  but, I myself, could never come to a logical explanation. It left me questioning so many things.  
Job also lost his children & all that he owned. He never doubted God & he never lost his faith or relationship with God... but I do not remember Job saying, it is well with soul.  His heart grieved. God did not think less of Job... He loved Job.  Job was special to him.   

So what about me.  I think in the depths of my soul, I would like to have the ability to say, No matter what God, it's OK.  But I'm more like Job in his feelings...God my heart is broken to the very core, I will never understand why, this side of heaven but I will never allow anything of this world to separate us.  This is where I must trust God knows my heart. 

             "Upon the palms of my hands I have written your name." ~ Isaiah 49:16

The tragedies in my life have taken me to a place I pray no other mother has to experience.  It took from me many things including the very person I once was.  Leaving me forced to discover the new me. Sometimes I still look in the mirror and I do not recognize myself.  Almost like someone who has suffered amnesia  That in itself is scaring.  I may not understand this new life I have been placed in but what I do know is this. Through it all, there is nothing that will shake my total trust in God.  For it is only through His love & Grace that I survived & am here to share this.  There has not been one hour that he has left my side... If at anytime I didn't sense His presence it was because I had moved in a different direction.  

As I ponder this thought today, I do not think Horatio Staffird was a "better" christian than I am, or his relationship closer to God... it is how he chose to work through his pain and that is different for each person.  For me... It is not well with my soul... but my soul is well with God.   

Hey Wait... This is Not the Life I Chose...

I'm just on the other side of trying to wake up from a terrible nightmare and struggling to find my new normal, and still wondering if a standard normal even exists. Though I love the expecting moms I work with now and being able to go on their pregnancy journey with them... I have come to realize... I really don't like working outside of the home. I want to sit on my porch in the morning & drink coffee & spend time with God. I want to be available for my grandchildren and parents when they need me. I want to sew, can vegetables make bread. I want to be able to work with my kids in juvenile court. I want to spend time with my friends. I want to rescue horses. I'm sitting here thinking, I worked hard to get to a place in my life that this could be a reality. Now, because of choices, not of my own... I'm forced to give up on my dreams & start all over working toward my new goals in life. I would be less than honest if I said there were days that I didn't hold some bitterness in my heart but I know, that's not where I want to stay... but I'm on a path I didn't choose and though I'm not ok with that, I trust God with each step I take... and He has never failed me, even in the darkest nights. I'm fortunate... I have a home..my Haven... I have not gone hungry one day... I have a job that allows me to have electricity, water and insurance. I know God has provided each one for me. So one could read this and think... How ungrateful... but that would no be a true statement. In all of my thoughts and feelings I have noticed a common statement... "I want" ...WOW... talk about being humbled... Life was not designed for me... I was designed for God's pleasure... to fulfill the purpose He laid out for my life before I was even formed in my mother's womb. It's not about me... It's all about Him. So as I begin a new day, I will look for the chance to shine my light for God wherever I am and whatever I'm doing. "Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people." Colossians 3:24... or for myself. Dear Heavenly Father Please remind me of the servants heart you placed in me. Reminding me that though I may not be living the life I chose, I am being obedient to you by living the life you have chosen for me. Help me to content while I wait patiently on your plan for my life to be revealed. Father, you alone are my shield, my strength, my portion, my shelter, my strong tower and my deliverer. Amen

GOD WINS!!!!

You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.  Genesis 50:20
When you stand for truth against the evil one, be prepared because the attacks will come.  Be on alert my friends, the evil one will attack you in your weakest areas to distract and oppress you.  As prepared as you think you may be, if you are not completely prepared in the Spirit, you will fail in your flesh.

Yesterday, I was put to the test...I thought I knew what I was up against and thought I was ready.  I was proven wrong.  I was prepared to call out/reveal the evil one in Jesus name.  I went in with strength.  I was not prepared for the attack to come against me personally.  With the evil one sitting in silence laughing at me. I lost my footing and felt defeat.  I was blindsided and I came out of my spirit and into my flesh.  I was so distracted by the confusion that I failed and felt completely defeated. 

What I am thankful for is, My God know my heart and loves me so unconditionally and needs me to remain strong.  Instead of allowing me to remain with my thoughts of doubts and confusion, He put me to sleep and restored my soul.  God is never the author of confusion and He alone wants to write my story.  He didn't  need me in my weaken state to lose strength and put focus on myself.  He needs me to focus on the spiritual battle that is real and raging.

I awake being reminded,   "The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly”  John 10:10.  
The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy everything good in your life. He wants to destroy your kids, your marriage, your joy, your happiness, your health, your job, your finances. The thief just wants to ruin anything he can get his hands on!

I'm also reminded of my weaknesses, I must remain focused on strengthening myself in the Word and guarding myself with the full armour of God.  I must do this so I am equipped to remain in the gap for those I love, until they are ready to fight the battle.

The enemy is strong but My God is stronger.  satan..you only thought you won...  MY GOD WINS!!!!

What Friendship is to Me

Friendship: a friendly relation or intimacy.
Intimacy: a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person .

I happened upon an interesting post today, http://ecosalon.com/teach-me-nothing-just-be-my-friend . It really made me made me dig deep and ponder just how I felt about what the author was saying. At first I thought, I’m not so sure about this because I like learning from my friends but the more I dug into my true feelings, I realized I had more in common with her thoughts.

I am fortunate to have friends with many talents and wisdom, and each of them bring something different to my life and I would never want to discount the knowledge I have gained from them. I have some pretty sharp friends, if I must say so. But I realized, they did not become my friends based on what they could do for me, it was based on who they were to me. It was because we connected on a personal level.

One thing I think we all are guilty of is trying to “fix” our friends. I have come to realize, that is not our place.  When we think it's our job we are saying, there is something wrong with you. By doing this, we are placing conditions on the friendship. Who are we to judge? We may not always agree or like the actions of our friends, which is a whole other issue but friendship is acceptance and loving through the good and bad. We should always want the best for our friends and be willing to offer wisdom but a true friend will never put conditions on the friendship depending on your fix-ability.

To me a friendship is about a relationship; a true a bond between two people. Sometimes it’s beyond words and many times, words are not even necessary. It’s about two souls that have a desire to be connected with their other part. It’s about acceptance and unconditional love. It’s about forgiveness and understanding. It’s about overlooking the small stuff and refraining from judgment. It’s about praying for their needs and what is close to their heart. It’s about allowing them to share all they need to share and listening with a companionate heart. It's about honesty and trust, It’s about grieving when they grieve, loving who they love, giving when there is a need, excitement when they triumph, crying when they cry, encouragement when they are down, a boost when they need to be motivated, laughing at stupid things only they can understand, loving when sometimes they are unlovable and no matter what…always…always have their back.

My prayer today is to always be the friend to others that I seek for my own life

XXOO

My Christmas Picture Sneak Peek

I think I am going to be very happy with my Christmas present. :0

Standing Still vs Standing Your Ground

I have read and reread this verse and I can't count the times I have quoted it to myself and to others through the years..

"For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace"...I Corinthians 14:33

We know this is true because it is biblical so does this mean if my mind is confused my thoughts are not of God. If that is true I know that is not where I want to be. Does it mean I am not truly seeking God's guidance in my situation, I'll be the first to admit, as much as I seek I know I could seek more. Does it mean my spirit and flesh are fighting against each other, very good possibility. Though we are not of this world, we are subjected to live in this world.

I'm tossing and turning, searching for answers. Carnal justice tells me to stand up for myself and family and cause someone else to suffer for the injustice they have caused us and are causing us. I know God wants us to stand for right but is that all we are suppose to do is stand and allow God's justice to prevail or are we suppose to be proactive but not allow evil to take over?

"Therefore do not fear them, For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed an hidden that will not be known Matthew 10:26

Can you see why my mind is whirling? Presently I have constant questions and advice from some very loving and caring people that I know have my very best interest at heart but I don't know what to say or do so I find myself avoiding making any decisions at all. I am not stupid and think if I don't talk about the problem it will just go away but I don't want to win the battle and lose the war, as they say.

I have never felt the presence of evil spirts swarming and twirling as I have in the last 3 years. I have come to a point that when they are close in my presence it almost takes my breath and I struggle to breath. It seems my daily mantra is rebuking satan in the name of Jesus.

1 Peter 5:8-9 Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

I now realized that the enemy doesn't always have to cause horrible tradegy to accomplish his goal to destroy us, it can come as easy as disabling us to take the next step and allowing ourselves to become stagnate in pursuing our ministry to glorify God.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full".John 10:10

This can come as easy as justifying our stillness by saying, I am standing still and allowing God to do the work. Such a true statement but without some form of balance we become unusable by God.  I think instead of  having the mind set of "standing still", I need to change that to a more proactive action as; "standing my ground" against the devils schemes to disable me.

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. [11] Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. [12] For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. [13] Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. [14] Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, [15] and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. [16] In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. [17] Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. [18] And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.  Ephesians 6:10-18

No Matter What..Leave Your God Light On

In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.Matthew 5:16

Do you remember the slogan for Motel 6?
And We'll Leave The Light On.
I got to thinking...not a bad idea for Christians.

I know at this moment in my life it may appear I am fighting against flesh and since we live in the flesh I know this is true but I know the bigger battle is a spiritual war and I praise God that he is on my side. By saying that doesn't mean it's not painful and not a struggle but it does mean I have someone bigger than this world to love me and to keep me surrounded, protected and in the center of His wings.

Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings Psalm 17:8

I love this verse, it brings me comfort to know I am the apple of God's eye and He forever has His arms around me not matter what. I love knowing how much God loves me and wants to protect me. It is the ultimate of unconditional love. (that's a whole nother ponder :)

OK back to my point

I know in both situations, I am in the midst of a spiritual war and what may effect myself and my family could also effect those watching from afar.
Maybe how I handle my situations could determine someones desire to draw close to God or even their salvation.

I didn't really consider this until the other day, a internet friend I have had for a number of years reconnected with me on Facebook, she told me of some hardships going on in her life but she told me some fantastic news, she had made the decision to give her heart and life to God. Then she shared something that touched me more than you can imagine and made me realize how important it is no matter the situation to always allow others to see how we as Christians handle situations and where we draw are strength,

(I'm sure she will not mind me sharing) she said,
I completely agree that with out Jesus in my life right now I would not even be able to get out of bed each day and face what is in front of me....believe it or not Patty I think you may have had a lot to do with my decision to turn my life over to God...when I saw how strong it made you after Justins death and how you made it thru I knew that it was the only way I could handle just the petty things in my life.

Wow....Can you see how this could have easily went the other direction? How I acted or reacted, what I did or didn't say could have could have caused this dear friend to say, She calls herself a Christian but in the midst of her trials her actions are those of the world, where is this God she talks about, why is He not giving her the strength and comfort she desperately needs and if He is what she says He is why is she not leaning and depending on Him?

I thanked God when I read this that I have been able to stay humble through hardships and I thanked him for controlling my thoughts and fingers as they have typed my words of despair.
I know in my heart my sharing of my life is a way towards healing for myself and hopefully an encouragement to those who are on my path but I pray that I am ever mindfully of the effect it will have on others.

this little light of mine....I'm gonna let it shine....

The Climb

My Inspiration for Today

Why Wedding Vows?

Vow: a solemn promise or assertion ; specifically : one by which a person is bound to an act, service, or condition

Why do we make vows before God, family and friends to work through the bad times, to stick it out or hang in there until the problem can be resolved. Instead of the martial formalities why don't we just say what we really mean,

I marry you today but when the time comes that I don't want to be married anymore because I want to do all the things I have not be able to do, I'm not able to love you like you want to be loved, or I choose to share my life with someone else; then I will selfishly leave you. I hope when this time comes you are prepared for all the changes. So while I am furthering my career and education you should be doing the same because I will most likely make this decision later in your life and it will probably be much harder for you to start over. I decline to vow; for better or worse, richer or poorer and in sickness and health because if any of these fail you will not be worth the effort. I might be making this vow today but at anytime I decide its not what I want, I void all promises I am making to You, To God and to our family because my needs and wants are what is important.

When someone proposes to you, if they would forgo the empty words and be completely honest, you could make an informed decision from the start if this is the person you chose to marry and start a family with. You would know what you were dealing with and what to expect. You would be prepared when the time comes to move forward and you would be prepared to tell your children why their foundation is being split in half.

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 1 Corinthians 7:3

Webster, Have I Got News For You

Webster defines

Divorce: the action or an instance of legally dissolving a marriage

Well Webster I hate to inform you there is so much more to the word.

I guess because it is not defined means there is no way to express the emotional aspect of dissolving a marriage. No way to express the long list of changes that effect everyone involved in the married couples lives. No way to express what words you use to explain to your child or grandchild the choices of the adults in their lives will change their lives forever.

The selfish part of divorce is, there are choices, they are just not considered.

So the action is self serving without regard to the negative effects it causes to others.

As I am thinking now on how the selfish actions of others causes pain and hardship for others without regard to their infinite effects , I am drawn to thoughts of Justin and how selfishly he was taken from us.

Realizing how the choices made for him by others has effected so many lives.

The two life changing events have more in common than I realized before.

There are people making decisions for mine and my children's life that have no rights to do that. Each person will have to answer and be accountable for their actions.

He saved them from the hand of the foe; from the hand of the enemy he redeemed them Psalm 106:10

I pray right now that I am mindful of how my actions effect the lives of others and in all ways strive to act in a Christ like manner.

You're Invited On A Journey

I'm finally back..I had taken a break from blogging for awhile. I feel led to start again with a new mission. I also feel ready to start back with, A Mothers Journey to Healing . I am praying for the strength to do both.

As my name says, She Doth Ponder, and anyone that knows me will say, yep she does it all the time; but with all the drama that has come upon my life in the last months, my mind has been nothing but mush. It is taken ever bit of energy to make it through each day. I haven't been able to sort through my thoughts much less find meaning to all the events to even be able to share anything worthwhile.

I have never been one to try & hide all the junk going on or has gone on in my life. I find that as I share, I find healing and in turn someone that is just starting the journey may find hope or decide that's not the direction I want to go in. Either way, here it is.
I will try to be cautious in how I share so I don't cause hardship or pain to those involved.

I have decided to allow you to join me on my new journey...D-i-v-o-r-c-e.
Yes I said it, Divorce. I know there are those who know me who are thinking, Your Kidding, Right? , No Way!, I would have never thought that!, or What else can she endure? I can assure you I have thought the very same thoughts and more when I allow my flesh to take over.

This is not my first experience with divorce. Looking back now I can see how youth and immaturity and the lack of proper guidance played a very big role in the break up of my first marriage. Never the less I regret and am shameful that I didn't seek guidance and suck it up for the benefit of Justin. I saw first hand how it destroyed a little boy's life and we all lived with the hardships it caused everyone.

So when I chose to marry again I knew I wanted to commit for the long haul. I knew I wanted more children and I promised myself and God, I never wanted another child to suffer as Justin did, I wanted to have a home that my children felt loved and happy in, a place they would always feel secure and their foundations were firm because mom and dad were allowing God to be the center of the marriage and the home. After 25 years it is fair to say we failed. We failed our promise to God, to each other and to our children.


It is not easy to be so transparent and admit failure but it is what it is. The world may have stepped in and caused obstacles but bottom line is; when a marriage fails both people have to be accountable. The failure of a marriage to thrive comes with a roller coaster of emotions but we are adults and must accept the consequence of our actions.

The real heartbreaker is the children. They are forced to deal with the results of the adults actions. What they have known as their stability and foundation is rocked and torn apart and they are not given the choice or input on how this will effect, disrupt or possibley change them or how they will view life and relationships from this point on.

To make matters worse in our situation is the lose of Justin to a tragic death. At a time when we should be drawing closer as a family to support each other, we are dealing with yet another separation, the lose of our family.

I'm a big girl and have learned through all the trails, hardships and obstacle that I have endured through my life, there are times I have to put those big girl panties on in order to survive but my heart is completely broken for Meghan and Camden.

I feel like I have failed them because I am the one that was suppose to protect them from all the hurts that have been thrown at them through no choice or action of their own.

I could share with them a list of reasons to help them make some sense of it all but for now I feel it would only add more doubt, distrust and confusion.

Right now, I'm the only one that is willing to make the needed sacrifices to avoid further damage but a marriage takes 3 and for now there are only 2 of us are here.


As angry as I am, I pray for my husband. I know in my heart and in my spirit we are dealing with a spiritual war and whether or marriage finds restoration or not his soul and his relationship with God is important to me. The children need a father and grandfather that can lead them spiritually.
So today as my heart is breaking I look to God to be my refuge and my strength

The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Psalms 9:9
the word oppressed seems to be the perfect word in this situation: to burden spiritually or mentally : weigh heavily upon


SHE DOTH PONDER

I’ll give my life to Jesus once I

How many times have you said:
I’ll give my life to Jesus once I____(Fill In The Blank)_________

If you are waiting to be able to accomplish this on your own, it will never happen. God knew we couldn’t make this journey on our own. That is why he sent his Son to die on the cross to bear our sins. If he had not done this for us, we would never be able to go to God because we are all sinful people. You on your own will never be worthy to be in the presence of God. God knew this and because he loves us so much and wanted to have communication with us, he sent Jesus to bridge the gap for us. Jesus died to pay the price for our sins. It is because of this and only this that we have hope to eternal life.

One of the most effective tools the enemy will use to keep you from serving God is to convince you that you’ve either messed up too much to serve God, or that you must clean up your life before God would want you or can use you. Lies….. Nothing is too big for God. God is bigger than any problem you have. Don’t let satan cause you to miss out on eternal life with Jesus.
Our soul desires a relationship with God. That is what we were designed for. So when you are feeling emptiness deep inside, trust me I know, there is nothing that can fill that hole except Jesus. And Jesus will meet you right were you are.

When you are feeling convection of your sins, that is God stirring your soul to draw closer to Him. When God convicts us of sin, his goal is not to condemn us; there is no condemnation in Christ. Roman’s 5:6-11 tells us, “while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
So many times we get caught looking for anything that will fill the void. This is how addictions usually start. We need to escape from our pain, hurts, disappointments and our inner selflessness to please self. We want a quick fix. Only problem is that fix is temporary. The next day, those same things will be there to greet you when you wake up. A life through Jesus is the only permanent fix there is.

I am not going to disillusion you and tell you that being a Christian is always easy, it doesn’t mean we are not going to stumble or fall, it doesn’t mean that you will never hurt or feel pain; it doesn’t mean life on this earth is going to be perfect, or a walk on the beach. We will only experience this when we get to Heaven. What it does mean is, you have hope and you have a loving savior that will be by your side every step of the way and when you do stumble, he is there to catch you and will forgive you when you repent.

Look at it like on the job training. You may not have the background or previous training but you have been given the greatest opportunity to train with the Master and you have been given the training manual all at no cost to you. On top of that, your reward for accepting this position is eternal life. It doesn’t get any better than that.
Becoming a Christian is very easy. You need to acknowledge God for who He is, ask for forgiveness of your sins and dedicate your life to his service.

Here is a prayer that you can pray that will change your life forever.
"Lord Jesus, I believe you are the Son of God. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. Please forgive my sins and give me the gift of eternal life. I ask you in to my life and heart to be my Lord and Savior. I want to serve you always."

I posted this on Justin's Blog but I thought I would post here also.

I became a Christian at the age of 6, from that time I have heard over and over, through songs, messages and reading my bible that our ultimate goal is to make it to Heaven to share eternity with God. I have always loved singing about going to Heaven and dreaming about what it will be like. Just the thought of it can give me chills. It is what I long for and why I strive daily to keep in God's will for my life.

But it all seems so different when someone we love leaves us. When they have reached their finally destination, their ultimate goal and we are left here grieving our loss.

Corinne told me one day that she did not grieve for Justin and then worried that what she had said upset me. It didn't because once I processed what she had said, I realized that is what I was feeling. I don't grieve for Justin, because he has made it, he is basking in all the wonders of Heaven and is able to be in the midst of Jesus.

It is me that I grieve for, my loss, my longing to hold him, to have him say, love ya mom, to have him call me early in the morning and say, time to get up lady, to see him playing with Camden or to even have one of our disagreements.

I have said as a mother it would be so selfish of me to want him to come back now that he has made it to paradise. Well, that is my spiritual side but I can tell you my flesh is selfish. I admit it.

I need to find a way to recalibrate my balance because right now my spirit and flesh are all out of whack. I find I am struggling to keep my head clear because the back and forth thoughts never stop. These emotions are the hardest things to try and explain to someone that has never lost a child. They are so intense and draining. Sometimes I find it easier to not try to explain and just stay by myself. It is not the healthiest thing to do but it is all I know to do right now and then I feel guilty for staying away. It is a roller coaster that never ends. It is true, you grieve as deeply as you loved.

A few days ago mama shared with me that she had an overwhelming feeling that she would be with Justin soon. My first response was, don't do this to me, not now and then I remembered how so many times I wished God would just come and get me but then I remembered those that would be left here and I would feel so torn. That thought brought on a whole new emotions and confusion. I love my mother so much and I would do anything I could to make her life better and to make her happy but I am just not ready to let her go. I know she has struggled through so many hardships in her life. I know she is probably worn and tired and what she has strived for all of her Christian life might be looking more appealing to her but I am selfish. The thought of losing a child and a mother is more than I can comprehend right now.

God is not the author of confusion, so I know it is not God's will for me to be living in this state of mind.

I am thankful that through my deepest heartbreak my faith in God has not faltered and that He understands me and my confusion and thankful that through grace he forgives me for my shortcomings and I pray He will bring peace and understanding to my heart and show me how to live again.

Death is such a personal experience for each individual. Everyone handles it differently and it depends greatly on which side of it you are on.

Love is a Verb

God placed this thought in my head and my heart and he wouldn't let me rest until I wrote what he led me to write. I think it has a really power message.

According to Webster’s dictionary, the English language defines the word “love” as a noun.
God intended for the word love to be a verb.
As a noun the word love explains how we feel, how it affects us personally. As a verb, it shows our selfless action to share Jesus to a hurting world in a Christ like manner.
I have been reading and rereading 1 Corinthians 13:13. As much as I am what some would call a hopeless romantic and desire the feelings that love brings to my heart. I don’t think God was talking about a feeling. He was talking about an action.
What caught my attention was that we are told that between, Faith, Hope and Love, the greatest was Love. How could that be? Should my faith in God not be most important? Should my hope for eternal life not be more important? How could a feeling be more important? It is because it is not a feeling.
My faith is important, but it is personal, it is a relationship between me and a God. It is something I own, it is mine. I can share my experience but I can’t share my faith. My Hope is mine; it is my personal perception and what I long for. I can share what it means to me but I can’t share my hope. Both my faith and hope are what I received when I became a Christian.
What I can do is share love in an active form. I can reach out in the physical and allow God to work through my flesh to love others unconditionally.
I grabbed a quote from a movie I watched (I can’t remember the movie so I can’t give credit). I think it describes what I am saying, “What you feel only matters to you. It is what you do to the people you say you love, that’s what matters.”
Loving unconditionally is not always easy; sometimes our personal feelings get in the way. It is easy to love the loveable and easy to love those that have similar convictions and feelings, but what about those who are “different”, those who are not our reflections? If we are not able to love these people as God has instructed us to, how then can we share with them how they can have faith and hope? This is why we are told that love is the greatest, because it is the hardest. It is easy to do something when it affects us in a positive manner, like my faith and my hope, I am benefiting from them. It is when we have to step out of our box or comfort zone and give love expecting nothing in return.
Giving love unconditionally does not mean we condone sinful behaviors, it means we love in spite of the behaviors and without judgment because we know we all are with sin. We can’t help it, we live in the flesh. Our sins might be different but they are sins. What is different is, we have hope because we know that are sins are forgiven when we repent them. I know I want to be loved unconditionally; that is why I choose to love unconditionally. Unless I can love someone without conditions, I can’t not expect to be able to share the hope I have because of my faith in Jesus Christ.
The greatest of these is Love…. And Love is a Verb.

Patty Whitaker

(you may use for personal use)

Found 2 Yummy Recipes

I found 2 recipes @Jeannette's Kitchen blog that sound and look terrific and will have to try them out.

Cinnamon and Caramel Cookies










1 cup butter, softened
3/4 cup sugar
1 egg yolk, lightly beaten
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp allspice
25-30 caramel candies
salt

Preheat oven to 375 F

Beat sugar and butter in mixer on low speed until combined. Add egg yolk and vanilla extract and beat well.
Sift together the flour, cinnamon, allspice, and a pinch of salt into the mixture and mix until thoroughly combined.
Scoop up tablespoons of the mixture, shape into balls, and put on cookie sheets spaced well apart.
Bake for 8 minutes. Place a caramel candy on top of each cookies, return to oven and bake for 6-7 more minutes.Remove from oven and let cool on cookie sheets for 5-10 minutes. Transfer to wire racks to cool completely.


Butterscotch Muffins











2 Cups all-purpose flour
1 cup sugar1 (3.4 oz) package instant butterscotch pudding mix
1 (3.4 oz) package instant vanilla pudding mix
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup water
4 eggs
3/4 cup vegetable oil
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Topping:
1/3 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup oats
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

In a large bowl, combine the flour, sugar, pudding mixes, baking powder and salt. Combine the water, eggs, oil and vanilla; stir into the dry ingredients just until moistened.
Fill greased muffin cups two-thirds full. Combine the topping ingredients; sprinkle over batter. Bake at 350 for 15-20 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean.

Makes 1 1/2 dozen.

Meghan's Graduation

I still haven't gotten the official date but it is looking like it is going to be May 23rd.

The good and the bad.

The bad, Meghan is the only one graduating from our church school this year which means it is all on me.

The good, Meghan can choose the colors she wants, so you guessed it, they are black and silver with hot pink. The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.

I found a hot pink tassel, can you believe it???

Andrea and I went searching for some type of theme, she did the black & white theme for her sweet 16, our church's vbs is hawian, and other have done and are doing the lula, so what it the world could we do to incorporate a Black, Silver & Hot Pink graduation.... well we found it.

The Princess Grad, 2 signs that is was meant to be:

Here is the basis of our theme
I found some cards but just not sure it the right ones but looks like we are on our way.

Now to get a slide show ready, get pictures taken, find items for her "Through the years table"and get those cards printed and mailed.

Please pray that I can get all this done and make it through this emotional event.

Meghan’s graduation date has been set for May 17th so I am now in a mad rush to get invitations printed and mailed, pictures made and a party pulled together. I wonder sometimes if anything in my life can be easy and not stressful.
She wants to wear a black gown and you would know it,

a hot pink tassel.

I wouldn’t expect anything else from her, lol.