I'm just on the other side of trying to wake up from a terrible nightmare and struggling to find my new normal, and still wondering if a standard normal even exists.
Though I love the expecting moms I work with now and being able to go on their pregnancy journey with them... I have come to realize... I really don't like working outside of the home.
I want to sit on my porch in the morning & drink coffee & spend time with God. I want to be available for my grandchildren and parents when they need me. I want to sew, can vegetables make bread. I want to be able to work with my kids in juvenile court. I want to spend time with my friends. I want to rescue horses.
I'm sitting here thinking, I worked hard to get to a place in my life that this could be a reality. Now, because of choices, not of my own... I'm forced to give up on my dreams & start all over working toward my new goals in life.
I would be less than honest if I said there were days that I didn't hold some bitterness in my heart but I know, that's not where I want to stay... but I'm on a path I didn't choose and though I'm not ok with that, I trust God with each step I take... and He has never failed me, even in the darkest nights.
I'm fortunate... I have a home..my Haven... I have not gone hungry one day... I have a job that allows me to have electricity, water and insurance. I know God has provided each one for me. So one could read this and think... How ungrateful... but that would no be a true statement.
In all of my thoughts and feelings I have noticed a common statement... "I want" ...WOW... talk about being humbled...
Life was not designed for me... I was designed for God's pleasure... to fulfill the purpose He laid out for my life before I was even formed in my mother's womb. It's not about me... It's all about Him.
So as I begin a new day, I will look for the chance to shine my light for God wherever I am and whatever I'm doing.
"Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people." Colossians 3:24... or for myself.
Dear Heavenly Father
Please remind me of the servants heart you placed in me. Reminding me that though I may not be living the life I chose, I am being obedient to you by living the life you have chosen for me. Help me to content while I wait patiently on your plan for my life to be revealed. Father, you alone are my shield, my strength, my portion, my shelter, my strong tower and my deliverer. Amen
I'm just on the other side of trying to wake up from a terrible nightmare and struggling to find my new normal, and still wondering if a standard normal even exists.
Though I love the expecting moms I work with now and being able to go on their pregnancy journey with them... I have come to realize... I really don't like working outside of the home.
I want to sit on my porch in the morning & drink coffee & spend time with God. I want to be available for my grandchildren and parents when they need me. I want to sew, can vegetables make bread. I want to be able to work with my kids in juvenile court. I want to spend time with my friends. I want to rescue horses.
I'm sitting here thinking, I worked hard to get to a place in my life that this could be a reality. Now, because of choices, not of my own... I'm forced to give up on my dreams & start all over working toward my new goals in life.
I would be less than honest if I said there were days that I didn't hold some bitterness in my heart but I know, that's not where I want to stay... but I'm on a path I didn't choose and though I'm not ok with that, I trust God with each step I take... and He has never failed me, even in the darkest nights.
I'm fortunate... I have a home..my Haven... I have not gone hungry one day... I have a job that allows me to have electricity, water and insurance. I know God has provided each one for me. So one could read this and think... How ungrateful... but that would no be a true statement.
In all of my thoughts and feelings I have noticed a common statement... "I want" ...WOW... talk about being humbled...
Life was not designed for me... I was designed for God's pleasure... to fulfill the purpose He laid out for my life before I was even formed in my mother's womb. It's not about me... It's all about Him.
So as I begin a new day, I will look for the chance to shine my light for God wherever I am and whatever I'm doing.
"Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people." Colossians 3:24... or for myself.
Dear Heavenly Father
Please remind me of the servants heart you placed in me. Reminding me that though I may not be living the life I chose, I am being obedient to you by living the life you have chosen for me. Help me to content while I wait patiently on your plan for my life to be revealed. Father, you alone are my shield, my strength, my portion, my shelter, my strong tower and my deliverer. Amen
